So Long Self…

Words cannot begin to explain the turmoil you’ve ignited deep within my heart,

But I’ll use them all the same because words are all I’ve had from the start.

And yes, I blame you for it!

If it were to be decided in a trial to determine the offender,

Truly I’d refuse to have a lawyer because

Your very image is all the evidence I’d need against you!

Your eyes speak of untold pains and hidden love that go deeper than the mind can see.

Truly who can behold them and not be moved?

Your smile can melt the heart of any man and

Leave him cuddled up with no sense of security whatsoever.

And I won’t even mention the words that just flow off your tongue…

Like a gently flowing, clear stream of water – beauty in its purest form on a lovely summer afternoon,

Or the divine artistry of a star-filled sky on a warm summer night,

So are the words you sing to my heart when all I do is long to see you.

So refreshing to the soul like…

And there you have me going at it again!

Focusing on you and nothing else!

See?! You are guilty as charged!

To tell the truth, I could write a book on all I’ve got to say,

But even that will not be enough to put this raging sea deep within my soul at bay.

See, each time I think of you, it’s like two great armies meeting on a battlefield:

Each determined and driven by the passion of the victory and glory that might be,

And yet poisoned by the fear of defeat and death that to the conquered is guaranteed.

As the two armies draw closer in their fateful encounter,

Two moving masses covering the ground as far as the eye can see,

The only evidence of their existence prior to this fateful event

Is the incredible path of destruction that now has become more of a myth than reality,

That very same we call “The Story of the ‘Separate Lives’ of You and Me.”

Every time we meet, it’s like Leonardo da’ Vinci and Michelangelo competing to

Determine who might be the better.

On one end, the image on a painting:

“The weight of the atmosphere matched only by that of the distant mountains in the background of

The chaos that is just waiting to happen;

Slumbering behemoths crowned with white jagged tops,

Set apart by valleys whose depths destroy the sheer instinct of curiosity in a man!

And yet in the forefront of it all is a lovely green plain,

Flowing streams of gleaming water gracing the image with a peace unexplainable”,

The good in this twisted relationship that keeps my mind sane.

On the other end,  a recreation of the hero of legend and lore – The Sculpture -

“An ever present memento of victories past all encased in a tomb of living stone,

Fashioned after the image of that untold conqueror,

Whose statue is set on a ledge that lingers over the vast sea,

Beckoning and welcoming the uninvited strangers that have found their way to the shores of familiarity.”

Each one a magnificent piece, in and of itself,

Yet cannot truly be compared for the differences that exist between them.

Ah, at times I’m simply left dumbstruck!

You’re that pretty poison that forever lingers and flows deep within my veins.

You are my bitter-sweet symphony,

For the love I have for you is that same love that will be my undoing.

I know this:

To love you is to walk the path less traveled on by the living,

But a highway to the underworld,

A sure guarantee of an unfitting end!

And yet to hate you is to hate myself because

Truly in every sense and regard I am you, and you are Me!

So I will live with you, but I won’t follow you! Not anymore!

For too long I have and all I have to show for it are my disappointments, failures and fears.

I’ve found that that the life you give just doesn’t satisfy me anymore.

I’ve found Another greater than you, and HIS name is Jesus.

I guess this is goodbye then (even though I know you will keep coming back).

So-long SELF…

Weakness vs Humility

“My inability to expose my weaknesses has cost me more than the burden of humility. Let the world judge me as weak, deny me even, but if it means I retain my integrity, honor and peace at their expense, so be it.” – Unknown

Reality Defined

Perception is the weight which shifts the balance of reality that defines the good from the bad in your own world – HJ

I am History in the Making!

I am History in the making,

Enough of this business of pretending,
Sick and tired of this business of faking.
I’m getting outta my box,
Outbreak, like the Chicken-Pox!

I am History in the making,
A certified package of GOD’s divine design,
Breath-Taking!
I am Victory incarnate,
A living statue!
I ain’t in-animate,
Pikachu!

I am History in the making,
Born and Bred in my father’s house.
Bones strengthened by the bread of the baking
Of his ever so beautiful spouse.

I am History in the making,
A living story written to stay-
I ain’t packing!
I’m on that Absolute, yeah, ‘The Fray’!

I am History in the making
Not the kind placed in books-
Ever changing!
But the kind not stolen by crooks,
Transcending!

I am History in the making,
No I ain’t bragging!
My life is a living testimony,
Like the cracking
Of an egg shell when it announces the arrival of the Hatchling!

I am History in the making
Moulded and Broken,
Drafted and crafted,
Christ’s alone for the taking!

I am History in the making,
His-Story (Christ’s) retold.
The image of the Great ‘I AM’,
No Nebuchadnezzar-
Statue of gold!

I am History in the making
And that is truth.
Like Clark Kent to Super-Man,
Yeah, I’m in that telephone booth!

I am History in the making,
A story to be told;
Maybe not by the lips of living,
But one to be remembered by the Everliving
Coz I’m forever engraved in the hands of the one Foretold!

I am History in the making
Written upon a tablet of stone.
No eraser can scratch me off,
Coz in Christ I’m already gone!

I am History in the making,
And I ain’t making myself.
Coz Christ reached down,
And took me off that shelf.

I am History in the making,
Destined for greatness!
And even if I don’t make it in this life,
I have grace sufficient from HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS!!!

Dreaming Giant by Herbert M. Nyakutsikwa Jr.

Mind wrenching vexation!

What is this strange sensation

I perceive deep within my mentation?

Familiar words from the lips of a stranger,

Disrupting my slumber,

Drawing me away from my visions of grandeur;

Words so deep they reach me in my waking dreams.

Words of hope and encouragement,

A steadily flowing river of thought,

Fed by the Everliving’s Streams of Life;

Speech guiding my will into submissive engagement!

They wash over me,

As I wade myself in their great bounty

Of understanding, expectation and surety

Of a better today through my bad yesterday,

Leading to a bright tomorrow,

One of unquestionable certainty

And a future of untold maturity.

I hear them in my dreams,

Eternal Words ever so softly they cry,

Convicting me that I have been living a lie;

I see a deceitful image adorned in make up,

Making up for the weaknesses in me

Against which I cannot stand up.

I hear the call, I hear the summons:

“Sleeping giant, Wake Up!!!”

The pretty poison by which I was poisoned prettily

Got me on a high

But has brought me so low,

Oblivious to my infirmity.

Injected in vain (vein) by the pleasures of this world

By the syringe that is labeled ‘devil’,

Sterilized in lies and deceit

Reeking of unscented and untold evils.

That devil!

The bad nurse

That only made me worse,

Adding on to the curse

Brought about by the fall of Adam

That saw the blessing upon mankind disperse;

This is satan’s unprescribed overdose,

That for so long has kept me comatose,

But only because it was my choice.

But in comes the Anti-dote,

Words of The Everliving Giant,

Purging away the guilt that has held me down,

Washing away the sin

Which for so long I had become reliant,

And with it the dreams that have made me so silent..

Finally, I can see myself waking up

Out of these dreams that had me acting up.

 

(Inspired By Sleeping Giant by Kurai Mombeshora)

Good-bye…

Good bye…

Two words that we use everyday.

Separately.

Dishing them out like take-away at a fast food outlet.

It’s only when they are joined together and become one

Do their meanings coalesce into that bitter-sweet poison

We each have to take a sip of at some point in our lives.

And with it comes that back-stabbing companion-of-the-heart,

That is all too eager to cling to your heart;

The very bane of the emotions of Man,

Sadness.

It is that feeling that settles deep within the crevices of your very consciousness,

Like an unwelcome comely visitor;

Beautiful but in an ethereal and meaningless sense.

Yet deep down you know full well that it’s only the mask she wears,

Her ruse that she may have her way with you.

And yet in light of all this,

We still entertain this un-strange stranger,

We cling onto her as for dear life

Like a baby would cling to his mother.

But why?

Is it for the “comfort” she offers that we so desperately desire,

Or just the knowledge that with great pain comes a great stability,

A guarantee for sure footing

In the great deceptions that become a scaffolding and an unchanging reality

In our ever changing worlds?

The answer remains a mystery to me even to this day.

One thing is clear though;

She will never depart unless you force her out.

The hardest part is resolving to get rid of that which has become a part of you,

Or so it seems anyway.

For from YOUR experiences she was born,

A constant visitor every time you hit rock-bottom.

Oh, how hard it can be to let go of that which you know,

All that you’ve ever embraced and known so intimately!

All in a bid to put on that which you don’t know,

Something you’ve never experienced fully before,

Something Whose existence you’re not even sure of!!!

And yet, you’ve caught a glimpse of her,

Though only in the slightest gleam in another’s eye.

But it’s all it takes to set things moving,

Just a glimpse…

That knowledge, like a lit match stick

Can light up an entire forest.

But only if it falls to the ground where the grass is driest.

That is the nature of Hope.

Then will Hope bathe you in the gentle flame of it’s warm embrace,

A flame that grows ever stronger, feeding off that which is dead deep within you,

Preparing a fertile ground for new life.

Though Sadness’ touch sent a shiver down your spine,

The Hand of Hope takes the shiver away from your very soul!

Oh, that She had appeared to me sooner!

Hope, that very same that guarantees a better tomorrow,

And ensures a good today.

For with Hope, I have found you cannot fail in a life that is sure to pass.

No longer will you have to be afraid or enslaved

To feelings of loneliness or insecurity,

Or to the whispers of the deceiver;

The seductress that seeks only to take, take and take some more.

For where Hope is, there is Strength,

And Strength is found only in the LORD GOD STRONG AND MIGHTY!!!

And with HIM, you have all that you need.

For does HE HIMSELF not testify that HIS Grace alone is sufficient

For all your needs

And those that you don’t know you need!

I speak not of things I have imagined,

Nor that which has been told to me by another.

These words are the truths of my own heart;

The testimony of my life.

For once upon a time, I was lost to that which enslaves,

But now I have been set free!!

For I know, wretched as I was,

I thank the Lord Jesus Christ

For winning victories where I could not,

And freeing me when no one else could.

And now, no longer is my good-bye an opener of the bottle of sadness,

But it has been transformed and become “By-Good”,

A surety for better things to come

Whatever goes, or whatever may come…

Trust

Trust, but verify – An old Russian proverb

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